It seems like only yesterday that some of my desk surface was visible, but it apparently wasn’t and I have been asked to excavate. Among my findings:
- Fifty-six copies of PC Gamer 148’s cover CDs.
- One wicker apple, without lid, empty save pistachio-shell crumbs.
- Doom 3 box, empty.
- UT2004 box, without lid, empty.
- One spoon, large.
- One paper box, contents unknown.
- The head of a plastic penguin with red hair and yellow eyebrows.
- One open packet of coffee grounds.
- One billion (approx) business cards (own).
- Three quarters of a billion (approx) business cards (others).
- One painted wireframe and tissue-mache effigy of me, 8″ tall.
- One purple, yellow and green feathered mardi gras mask.
- Nine pens.
- John Walker’s cafetiere.
- Three ultrillion sheafs of paper of text that no longer seems to mean anything.
- One cardboard cutout of me, articulated at joints with gold pins.
- Twenty issues of PC Gamer.
- Forty duplicate issues of PC Gamer.
- One copy of Stereolab’s Emperor Tomato Ketchip: score!
- One bigillion blank taxi receipts, for expense claim fraud.
- One Morrowind Ordinator lead figurine, 2″ tall.
- One City Of Villains scorpion dude plastic figurine 3″ tall.
- Twelve hundred E3 press discs.
- Nine hundred hundred unwanted DVDs.
- One inflatable chain-mace.
- One inflatable gray (green).
- One foam Darwinian.
- One FSP fridge magnet, ugly.
- One tennis shoe, belonging to Mark Sutherns of Creative Assembly.
- Seven point nine thousand hundred City Of Villains trial code stickers.
- Five USB storage devices of between 64MB and 1GB capacity.
- One Radeon X300 graphics card with a display output socket unrecognisable to the staff of either PC Gamer or PC Format, but which I swear used to plug straight into my regular monitor without fuss.